Midnight Sun
by rcsalie
Summary: When Stephenie Meyer posted her 11.5 chapter manuscript for Midnight Sun, readers got to see a small glimpse of Edward's frame of mind. But the manuscript was never finished and the rest of Edward's story wasn't told. I present to you, the rest of Edward's story beginning with Midnight Sun Part Two. Rated T just in case. (chapter 4: author update)
1. 12: Complications (continued)

**A/N: I know it has been attempted by many other people before, but I couldn't stop thinking about what Edward was going through in the second half of Twilight. So, without further ado, here is Midnight Sun part 2.**

12\. Complications (continued)

 _"Oh Bella?"_

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Tomorrow it's my turn."_

 _Her forehead puckered. "Your turn to what?"_

 _"Ask the questions." Tomorrow, when we were in a safer place, surrounded by witnesses, I would get my own answers. I grinned at the thought, and then I turned away because she made no move to leave. Even with her outside of the car, the echo of the electricity zinged in the air. I wanted to get out, too, to walk to her door as an excuse to stay beside her..._

 _No more mistakes. I hit the gas, and then sighed as she disappeared behind me. It seemed like I was always running toward Bella or running away from her, never staying in place. I would have to find some way to hold my ground if we were ever going to have any peace._

As I sped away from the Swan residence, from Bella standing so effortlessly beautiful in one spot, a smile was glued to my face. For a moment, I could forget about who I was, about _what_ I was and just think about her. It was selfish of me, I knew that down to my very core, but it felt incredible to think about her the entire drive home.

It took me only a few minutes to arrive home, and as I neared the end of my drive I could see and hear Alice waiting for me. She was positioned outside of the garage so that there was no way I could ignore her, and there was something she had to talk to me about.

 _Where are_ you _off to this evening?_

I rolled my eyes at her; she knew the answer to her pressing question, there was no need to dignify it with a response.

Showing clearly that I had every intention of parking my car in our garage, Alice eventually gave up on getting an answer from me and let me drive past her, allowing me to park in my normal spot next to Rosalie's car.

The run back to Forks from our home was something I looked forward to every evening. Most parts of my routine I found tedious and unnecessary. School, spending nights at home or hunting, driving most places; it was all for show. But as I sped through the greenery that surrounded and defined the small town of Forks, Washington, I couldn't be more grateful that my obnoxiously tedious routine brought me to _her_.

I easily sneaked through her bedroom window like I did most evenings, comforted by the feel of the old wood brushing against my skin.

Settling into my usual seat, I softly rocked back and forth in the rocking chair, hands folded in my lap. As Bella tossed and turned throughout most of the evening, much of my attention was focused on staying in my chair and not moving to comfort her. I wanted nothing more than to comfort her, nothing more than to hold her against my chest and sleep with her instead of sitting what seemed like a mile away and simply watching.

I sat, silent and still, but couldn't help and think back to Biology earlier in the day. My mind flickered to the magnetic pull that her body had to me, recalled the way her warm skin felt against my hand as I brushed the side of her cheek. Nerve endings that hadn't been active in who knows how long had been called awake by that one moment of self indulgence. But the question that kept burning itself in the back of my brain was simply if she had felt the same way, if the electric charge sent through my body was the same for her. I was willing to give up hearing the thoughts of every other person in the world if it meant that I could peek into her brain.

And then, as if on cue, my name softly escaped from her lips.

"Edward," she whispered, "please stay."

Time passed, and eventually Bella's sleeping became more peaceful. Once she had been still for about twenty minutes, I decided to press my luck, to try and be close to her again. Slowly rising from my seat, I took a deep breath. The burning in my throat was slightly more manageable, and I walked impossibly slowly toward my sleeping beauty.

After what felt like an eternity, I knelt by the side of her bed frame, reaching my hand out and softly tracing the outline of her face. I could hear her heart pick up the way it always did when I was close to her and for a moment, was extremely frightened that she was going to wake up to find me mere inches from her face. But she simply smiled wider, eyes remaining shut, and whispered another quiet and fond "Edward."

The sun was rising outside, the world was waking up, and in an instant, I was reminded of pesky humans and their ridiculous circadian rhythms. I stole one last look at Bella asleep peacefully in her bed and raced home as fast as I could, knowing that the sooner I got home, the sooner I could be in Bella's presence again.

I barely took the time to notice the rest of my family as I sped around our home to get ready for the day. I was sure it was unnecessary to tell Alice that Rosalie needed to drive again, but just in case, I took a moment to check in with the thoughts of my siblings.

 _Next time, I'm going to find a bear_ twice _his size._

 _Hair up, hair down, hair_ up _, hair_ down _._

 _All I feel is love right now, and I couldn't be more content._

 _I'll need to ensure Rosalie doesn't get mad when I talk to her in a couple minutes, but right now I have more..._ important _matters to attend to._

I smiled to myself as I heard Alice and Jasper together, seeing the way Alice looked at him and vice versa made me long for the love they had; the type of love that never died no matter how many years it lived on, the type of love that got stronger through patience, understanding, and...

I cut myself off from that train of thought before it got too out of control. I could never have what they had, I wouldn't let Bella become one of us just to spend her life with me. Her life was worth so much more than my happiness.

Not bothering to slow down to say goodbye to my family, I moved quickly back to my car. Bella's scent lingered in the passenger seat, and I took a deep breath, letting the slight burning sensation make its way comfortably into my throat. I welcomed the pain.

On the drive to Bella's house, I took a moment to listen for Charlie. His thoughts were delivered to me partially, giving off an annoyed tone. I looked at the clock as I pulled into the driveway. He had left two minutes later than usual.

I sat and waited patiently for Bella to finish getting ready, letting my mind wander and think about all the questions I wanted to know the answer to today. I desired to know every detail about her, every trivial and seemingly unimportant factoid and piece of information. Today would most definitely be a good day.

A smile spread across my face as she opened the passenger door and climbed into the car. What was she thinking about? Was she happy to see me? Was yesterday as monumental for her as it was for me?

I took a breath before speaking, the comforting burn settling back into my throat.

"Good morning. How are you today?" I asked, searching her face for a recollection of the previous day, the previous evening, the stolen touches I took every moment I could, and finding nothing.

"Good, thank you," she replied, but I couldn't help but continue to search her face, noticing the dark circles under her eyes and how lethargic she seemed.

"You look tired."

"I couldn't sleep," she said, swinging her hair to provide a sort of wall between us.

I couldn't help but laugh at that comment. "Neither could I," I said, quirking my eyebrows at her before putting the car into drive and taking off toward our destination for the day, school.

She chuckled at my joke - that always made me feel good about myself - and replied. "I guess that's right, I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did."

"I'd wager you did."

"So what did you do last night?"

I laughed. Her ability to ask questions with extremely revealing answers was unparalleled by anyone I had ever met before, but she was not getting away with this today.

"Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions," I reminded her, fingers drumming against the steering wheel.

"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?" she asked, an apprehensively eager tone in her voice.

What did I want to know? Everything.

I decided to start simple. "What's your favorite color?"

"It changes from day to day," she stated, and I lightly shook my head. That answer was not going to work.

"What's your favorite color today?" I pressed in response.

"Probably brown."

I couldn't help but snicker at first. "Brown?" Was she serious? Brown was the color that a beautiful art project turned into when you forget how to blend color correctly, the color of mud, a color that simply existed, never noticed by anyone. Except, it seemed, by her.

"Sure. Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown — tree trunks, rocks, dirt — is all covered up with squashy green stuff here," she explained and I pondered on that for a moment.

Maybe brown was all of the things that came to my mind before, but brown was also the color of her hair, providing a beautifully stark contrast to her pale skin. Brown was the color of her eyes, her warm, inviting eyes. I could lose myself in the shades of brown that made up Bella.

Without brown, she wouldn't be who she was. I had a newfound appreciation for the color.

"You're right," I stated plainly, reaching out to lightly touch her hair, to knock down her makeshift wall of...well, of brown.

I snapped my arm back to the wheel as we pulled into school, maneuvering to my spot in the parking lot like I did every day. The minute I put the car in park, I turned to face Bella.

"What music is in your CD player right now?" I asked, trying to take the topic of conversation as seriously as I could.

As she spoke the name of the Linkin Park CD currently in my car, I couldn't help but smile an all knowing smile. I produced my copy of the same CD, and laughed. "Debussy to this?" I asked, shaking my head at the many similarities that never seemed to end with the two of us.

Eventually, we had to leave the secluded environment that was my car, but I made use of the time we had together throughout the day extremely well. Every moment we were together, I was asking her another question, delving deeper, finding out new information, and loving every minute of it.

I took mental notes as we talked. She loved _Romeo and Juliet_ and _Wuthering Heights_ , hadn't traveled to many places in the world, but one day wanted to go to Asia and see all that she could, didn't watch very many movies or play any sports, but loved curling up with a good book at the end of a long day.

As we stood in the lunch line, I turned to her again.

"What is your favorite gemstone?" I asked, hyperaware of how close we were standing.

She quickly said topaz, and then immediately seemed embarrassed at her answer. Once again, I found myself completely infuriated at my inability to read her mind. I asked her to tell me why she was blushing, took out every charm technique I had in the book, but none seemed to work.

I sighed. "Tell me," I pleaded, frustrated that I had to beg to find out answers I could get so easily from everyone else.

"It's the color of your eyes today," she said, her voice accompanied with a deep sigh and her eyes suddenly very focused on the lunch tray in her hands. "I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx."

I wanted nothing more than to tell her that she had just given me the most genuine compliment I had ever received, that I didn't appreciate sleeping or holey pajamas or _humanity_ until I met her. But instead, I stayed silent as we walked, pulling out her chair for her and then taking my place at our table.

Instead of confessing, I nodded at her and continued on with the laundry list of questions I still wanted to know the answer to.

By the time we got to Biology, I had completely forgotten about part two of yesterday's movie watching extravaganza. As much as I wanted nothing more than to hold Bella to me the minute the lights switched off, I decided instead to scoot my chair a bit to my left in order to try and stop the imminent spark that was already forming between us.

And then the lights switched off.

The minute the two of us were sitting in darkness, I sat on my hands to resist the urge to reach out and touch the angel sitting next to me. Easily tuning out the film that Mr. Banner put on, I thought back to the first day Bella sat next to me in Biology. During that hour long class period, I was in pain. I had spent the entire time trying to figure out some convoluted scheme to get her alone to murder her. But now, nearly two months later, I was in pain for a different reason. I spent the entire hour trying to figure out a way to touch her without letting it escalate.

I was not capable of doing that with the lights turned off. No matter how much I wanted to, I resisted the urge for the entirety of the class period through observing her. When she shifted her position to rest her chin on her hands, I could hear the shuffling sound her clothing produced and could see her eyes glazing over as she stared at the tv screen.

The light eventually flickered back on and a wave of relief washed over me. I didn't know if I could have successfully maintained my composure for much longer.

We made eye contact, her expression showcasing a strong emotion I couldn't quite place before quickly looking away from me.

The lingering electricity in the air was too much to handle, so I rose and made my way out of the classroom, Bella following closely behind me. The silence was noticeably different compared to how talkative we had been earlier in the day.

We arrived at the gym, and with no shield of chatter in between us this time, my hand subconsciously reached for her face. As much as I willed it to return to my side, the aching inside me to feel her soft, warm skin once again was unbearable. I stroked the side of her face with the back of my right hand, starting at her temple and moving to the end of her jawline, wanting to never move my hand from her skin.

I knew that if I stood there for much longer, we would be kicked off the premises for public indecency, so I returned my hand to my side and headed off to Spanish without a word.

The entirety of the period, I was staring out the window, begrudgingly checking in on Bella periodically through the thoughts of Mike Newton.

 _Bella looks more beautiful than ever today._

I bared my teeth.

 _I'm a lot more attractive than Cullen clearly, people are into the boy next door type of_ vibe _, not the perfect Greek Adonis thing._

I rolled my eyes.

 _Oh gosh, Bella, look out!_

Finally, something that wasn't entirely self-absorbed. I winced as I watched her throw her racket up in the air through Mike's eyes, but let out a sigh of relief when it just barely missed hitting the top of her head.

Emmett gave me a confused look and I shook my head, implying it was something that he didn't need to worry about.

The moment the bell rang, I sprang from my seat and walked toward the gym, walking as fast I could without raising suspicion. I knew that changing her clothing would take a bit, so I stood against the wall of the gym building when I got to my destination, leaning against the wall as the rest of our small school moved toward the parking lot or their extracurricular activities.

All people watching immediately ceased when Bella walked through the double doors of the building and made her way to my location against the wall. Her demeanor seemed to shift as her eyes settled on me. A huge grin began to spread across her face and a matching one snaked its way onto mine as well. As much as I wanted to reach out and hold her hand as we walked, I would not let myself give in. Instead, I shoved my hands deep into my pockets to resist the urge to touch her.

The drive home was filled with questions about her life before she moved to Forks, her life before me. I asked her what she missed about home, what the sky looked like in the South, how the sun looked bouncing off the mountains at sunset, all things I never got the chance to see for myself. I could get lost in the tone her voice took when describing home, it should be an art form, but a groggy and annoyed voice in the back of my brain brought me back to reality.

I looked around (when had it started raining?) to regain my bearings. My attention had been so focused on her descriptive words that I needed a moment to remember there were other people in the universe.

She let out a light sigh. "Are you finished?"

I chuckled at her plea and shook my head. "Not even close — but your father will be home soon."

"Charlie!" she said, frantically looking around herself. "How late is it?" With those words, she glanced at the clock and then back it me. It seemed like she didn't want to leave.

"It's twilight," I replied, my voice abnormally calm in comparison to how panicked her voice was. I took a deep breath before continuing, letting her scent wash over me, cherishing the small time we had left before I had to leave for the evening.

"It's the safest time of day for us," I continued, after taking a moment to turn back to address her directly. "The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?"

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." She frowned. "Not that you see them here much."

The sentiment made me chuckle, but she had a point. In life, you never got to enjoy the most beautiful things until you suffered a little bit. And the very fact that Bella was sitting next to me was proof that was true.

"Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday…" I quirked an eyebrow at her, as if I was daring her to tell him about it.

"Thanks, but no thanks. Is it my turn tomorrow, then?"

"Certainly not! I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?" I asked, smiling an all knowing smile. The entirety of forever would still not be enough time to ask her every question I had for her. I would never run out.

"What more is there?"

"You'll find out tomorrow," I said, eyes bright and wide, and reached across the car to open the door for her. I froze for a moment, enjoying the sound of her beating heart practically begging to escape her chest, but then two rude voices in the back of my head interrupted the moment.

 _You should invite Bella over to spend time with us at the reservation, Jacob, I think it would be good for her._

 _Daaaaaad, don't talk about Bella like that, I've gotta look_ cool _in front of her._

"Not good," I said under my breath, trying not to think about the Quileute trash rounding the corner.

"What is it?" she asked, and I simply shook my head, opening the car door for her.

"Another complication," I replied, using all of my willpower to not get out of the car and face the Black scum who broke the treaty in the first place. "Charlie's around the corner," I said, as she left the car.

The moment she was safely out of my Volvo, I sped away from her home as fast as I could in an attempt to clear my mind. But I all I heard was Jacob's annoying thoughts in my head, just another Mike Newton to add to the list of people that would be better for Bella than I was.

That was the most infuriating thing. As much as I hated Jacob Black and his self-righteous great-grandfather, he was better for Bella than I was, anyone besides a soulless monster was better for Bella.

I watched the speedometer climb as I drove away.


	2. 13: Balancing (part one)

13\. Balancing (part one)

As much as I wanted to drive home, talk to Alice, maybe kill a mountain lion or two, part of me knew that I needed to stay close enough to Bella's house to hear what was being discussed, to know if Jacob was going to make a move, to eavesdrop.

I began driving around the neighborhoods adjacent to Bella's, close enough to hear what Jacob was thinking but far enough away that they wouldn't know I was listening in.

They were inside now, Jacob watching as Bella began cooking dinner.

 _I'm going to talk to her, I can do this,_ Jacob thought, finding the courage to finally say something.

" _So, how are things?"_ he asked, before mentally questioning if that was the coolest way to start up a conversation.

" _Pretty good,"_ she said, with a smile. That smile was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, the eighth wonder of the world.

" _How about you? Did you finish your car?"_

" _No, I still need parts, we borrowed that one."_

He was clearly upset with not having a car of his own and I couldn't help but feel joy creep over my mind. There was something I had over him. Sure, he didn't want to kill Bella every moment he was near her, but _I_ had a car.

" _Sorry. I haven't seen any...what was it you were looking for?"_

" _Master cylinder."_

 _She remembered! She paid attention! This is good, this means she's gotta care at least a little bit. But why wasn't she driving earlier? Does she need help with her car? Maybe this is my opportunity to get closer to her, help her with her car a little bit, impress her…_

I made an audible retching noise.

" _Is there something wrong with the truck?"_

" _No,"_ she said, quickly and to the point.

 _Did I offend her or something? That's not good, I should apologize. No, that might be weird._

" _Oh, I just wondered because you weren't driving it." There, that says that I'm cool, I don't care, just_ wondering _._

" _I got a ride with a friend."_

A friend? Why wouldn't she tell him the truth, tell him the way she felt about me, get this whole thing over with?

 _"Nice ride. I didn't recognize the driver, though. I thought I knew most of the kids around here."_

I could see Bella barely nod, suddenly focusing much more on her cooking than the conversation that was happening.

 _Did she not hear me? Maybe she just wasn't paying attention, I'll bring up the topic again._

" _My dad seemed to know him from somewhere."_

Immediately, Bella replied, trying desperately to change the topic of conversation. I parked my car on the side of the road, distracted driving wasn't good for anyone, even vampires.

 _"Jacob, could you hand me some plates? They're in the cupboard over the sink."_

" _Sure." Why was she not answering my questions? Maybe I'll try asking one more time. "So who was it?"_

" _Edward Cullen,"_ she said with a sigh. I would never tire of her saying my name, it filled me with a contentment that few other things espoused in me.

 _"Guess that explains it, then, I wondered why my dad was acting so strange."_

A tap at my car window startled me and I looked to see who was calling my attention away from the Swan household.

"Hey bro," Emmett said as I rolled down the window. "Everyone's a little worried about you, you haven't been home in a while. And Alice wants to talk to you before your _excursion_ this weekend." With that, he climbed into the car, deciding he would keep me company on the drive home.

I rolled my eyes but didn't verbally protest, trusting that Billy Black wouldn't violate the treaty just because his son was in love with a vampire loving girl.

We didn't talk the entire drive home, but there was nothing uncomfortable about the silence. Our family dynamic was an interesting one, and we all clearly tolerated each other well enough to live in the same house. But for me, there were three members of my "family" that I truly loved as if we were related. Alice, Carlisle and Emmett each had a special place in my heart. Therefore, I felt comfortable in the silence instead of awkward as I might have felt with Rosalie or Jasper in the passenger seat.

I could hear arguing coming from inside the house as we pulled up to it, but all conversation ceased as those inside realized that I was within listening distance.

Sighing as we parked the car, I turned to Emmett. "Is this about to be really uncomfortable for me?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Not as uncomfortable as it's going to be for me," was his muttered response. I took a deep breath and left my car, entering the main part of my house from the garage.

Rosalie was the first to speak. "You lovesick idiot, what on earth are you thinking?"

I sighed, raising my hands to my head and rubbing my temples. "To what are you referring this time?"

Alice, standing awkwardly in the corner, spoke up next. "I told them that you were planning on going to the meadow with Bella this weekend," she said sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I just felt like they should know."

"Why did you think this was a good idea? You're going to make a dumb decision and mope around for the rest of your life and we're going to have to deal with it," Rosalie continued and she would have kept going if Carlisle hadn't interrupted.

"Alice," Carlisle said, in his soothing tone that worked on humans and vampires alike. "Do you see anything bad happening on Saturday?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, and I saw the the vision she was looking at. Bella and I, lying on the grass in the meadow, perfectly content. As she opened her eyes, she smiled at me. "Nothing bad is going to happen this weekend, I'm almost ninety percent sure."

 _But what about the other ten percent?_

I could hear Jasper's thoughts in the same, sadistic tone in which they were always delivered to me. Normally, I welcomed his pessimism with open arms-it was a nice change of pace-but today, I wasn't going to tolerate it.

"Can you at least _try_ to be less negative all the time?" I said, glaring in Jasper's direction.

"Could you at least _try_ to be less of an idiot?"

I bared my teeth in reaction and my eyes narrowed even more before Carlisle moved to step in between us.

 _Edward,_ he thought, and I slowly moved my eyes to look at him instead of Jasper.

 _Go take a walk, get some fresh air, let some time pass and we'll continue this conversation tomorrow._

It took me a moment to let his words truly sink in before I nodded, glared at Jasper one more time and stormed out of our home.

* * *

Without thinking about where I was running, I began heading back to Bella's house. Spending time with Bella bookended my days. I spent mornings in the car with her, at school, sitting in her driveway and spent nights in her room, watching her as she slept and wishing that I could be asleep next to her.

As I effortlessly scaled the side of her house and slid into her room, the sight of her asleep in her bed brought a smile to my face. The weather was nice so there was no reason she would be restless this evening, but I worried anyway. I always worried for Bella, even when it came to the simplest of things such as driving or going out with friends or sleeping.

Sliding into the rocking chair that I had claimed as my own, I folded my hands across my lap. There was something so beautiful about the way her chest would rise and fall with every breath, the way her hair was sprawled messily around her head on the pillow, the small smile that settled on her face.

My eyes roamed her room as she slept silently, trying to gather as much information about the sleeping mass on the bed in front of me as I possibly could. Sometimes, asking her questions was not enough. There were some days when I learned more about Bella from making observations about her room than I did from her answers to the millions of questions I asked her in the daylight.

However, I barely got a chance to observe as mumbled words coming from her direction stopped my train of thought.

"Mom," she said quietly as she rolled onto her other side. "I miss you a lot. I want you to meet Edward."

I couldn't help but smile at that, and leaned forward in my seat to continue to listen to her words. It wasn't that leaning in helped me hear her better, I just liked to be closer to her as she spoke. I wanted to be as close as possible to her every moment that I could be.

Then, she continued speaking.

"I love him, Mom, I really do."

I stopped breathing at that point, wondering if I had heard her clearly.

That was ridiculous, I had perfect hearing, of course I heard her clearly.

She _loved_ me.

I slowly rose from my chair and walked toward her bed, a magnetic force telling me that I needed to be near her, to touch her and hold her and let her know how much I loved her. But instead, I lightly sat on the edge of her bed, taking in all I could.

It wasn't that she wasn't beautiful before, but now that I knew that she loved me, I couldn't help but look at her in a different light.

I stayed in that exact position until the sun shone through the window, making my skin illuminate and reminding me to run home and change my clothes and grab my car and do other typical human things.

Rushing to the window, I turned back to her and stole one more look before jumping down to the ground and starting the run home. She loved me, and that was a high that I would never get off of for the rest of my life.

* * *

I pulled into her driveway that morning at the same time I always did, eager to see her after spending an excruciatingly long hour or so apart. As she ran out the door to my car, I couldn't help but match the excited grin on her face. I finally knew that she felt the same way about me, and that was something I would cherish for as long as I could.

After she closed the door and buckled up, I turned to her with a grin. "How did you sleep?" I asked, attention fully on her. She seemed cheerful, happy, content. That was everything to me.

"Fine. How was your night?"

"Pleasant," I said, smiling even more. If only she knew how incredible my night had been.

"Can I ask what you did?"

I shook my head, grinning still. "No, today is still _mine_."

She sighed, seemingly annoyed, but then began answering my questions with enthusiasm. As we drove to school, I asked her about her mom. She described her as irresponsible, never settling in one place for too long. The way she talked about her mom never failed to amuse me. Bella was mature, always taking care of other people more than she took care of herself. It was admirable.

The day continued in a similar way to the day before, I asked her questions about everything imaginable. We talked about her grandmother, her friends in Phoenix, her friends in Forks. I wanted to know about the people who had spent time with her before I got the opportunity to, but there was one question I had been avoiding asking.

As we got into the lunch line, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the question, but I was unsure if I really wanted to know the answer.

"What about the boys you dated? Tell me a bit about them," I said, as nonchalantly as I could possibly manage. I would never tell her if she asked, but the answer would haunt me. I never liked comparing myself to people, but I knew that every boy Bella dated before me was better. They were human, they didn't want to suck her blood at every waking moment, they had a _soul_.

I braced myself for the worst, was ready for her to spend the rest of our time together doting over her ex-boyfriends and how much she missed them, but then she said an answer that immensely surprised me.

She told me she had never dated anyone.

My eyes widened.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?" I asked, wanting to know as much information about this topic as possible. If I was the first person she felt this way about, if she had never loved someone in this way before me, maybe I didn't have anything I had to live up to. If there was nobody before, maybe there didn't have to be anybody after either. I cleared my throat quietly, that was a dangerous train of thought I was on.

"Not in Phoenix," she said, taking a small bite of her bagel. I sighed, letting my eyebrows furrow and watching her as we walked to the table. It was moments like these when she refused to be brutally honest with me that I wanted to read her mind the most.

 _Was there someone else in Forks that she wanted? Was I the only person here she loved? Was there competition I should be worried about?_

"I should have let you drive yourself today," I said once we had sat down at our table and once I had had an opportunity to collect my thoughts.

"Why?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at me confusedly.

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch."

"Oh," she said, a slight frown working its way onto her face. "That's okay, it's not that far of a walk."

I frowned, slightly offended that she thought I would be so rude as to leave her with no other option. "I'm not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me," she said with a sigh. "I really don't mind walking."

I shook my head at that, clearly she underestimated what we were capable of. "Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition - unless you're afraid someone might steal it," I said with a chuckle. The very thought of someone trying to steal her truck was hilarious to me.

"All right," she said reluctantly before changing the topic of conversation. "So where are you going?"

I took a breath before answering. "Hunting. If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." I closed my eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of my nose before opening them and continuing. "You can always cancel, you know," I said as earnestly as I should. I didn't want her to, I wanted to spend time with her and continue to build my tolerance to her scent, but I knew that her staying home would be the safest option available to me.

I wanted nothing more than her safety.

She looked down for a moment, seeming to be contemplating the idea of cancelling on me, before staring back into my eyes. "No, I can't."

"Perhaps you're right," I said, taking a deep breath. If only she knew the danger she put herself in every minute we were alone together, how quick her life could end if I decided to end it.

"What time will I see you tomorrow?"

"That depends," I began, trying my hardest to abandon the self-deprecating thoughts that had attacked my brain less than a minute before. "It's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?"

"No," she said immediately and without hesitation. I tried not to smile, but her excitement made me overjoyed.

"The same time as usual then," I said with a nod. "Will Charlie be there?"

"No, he's fishing tomorrow," she said with a grin.

That made me nervous. "And if you don't come home, what will he think?" My tone was foreboding, I wanted her to comprehend the depth of the risk she was taking by being alone with me. It didn't seem like she understood, why could she not understand?

"I have no idea. He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer."

That response made me glare. I resented the fact that she hadn't told her father we would be together, hated the fact that she didn't seem to grasp the danger of the situation. But then again, I loved how she never stopped putting trust in me to keep her safe. It was trust I didn't deserve, but it still made me feel good.

"What are you hunting tonight?" Her question snapped me out of my head and back to our cafeteria table.

"Whatever we find in the park," I said, a little bit amused at the fact that this was such a normal conversation. "We aren't going far."

"Why are you going with Alice?" she countered, head slightly tilting to one side.

I cringed for a moment, remembering the fight that almost broke out between me and Jasper, and Rosalie's cold and scathing words. "Alice is the most…," I paused for a moment, searching for the right word, "supportive."

"And the others?" Her voice seemed to grow quieter and less confident every word she spoke. "What are they?"

This was another question that I didn't have an immediate answer to, so I pursed my lips while I formulated my thoughts. "Incredulous, for the most part."

I saw her eyes flicker to my table of siblings before turning back to me. "They don't like me," she said, defeat evident in her voice.

"That's not it," I said quickly. "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone." I couldn't help but give a soft smile at that fact. How lucky I was to have fallen in love with someone as wonderful as the girl sitting across the table from me.

My reaction and my words seemed to make her upset. "Neither do I for that matter."

I crossed my arms against my chest, leaning further back in my chair. I wished she could read my mind, understand why I was so captivated by her very existence, understand that we felt the very same way about each other.

"I told you - you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me." She seemed annoyed at that, so I pressed on, a smile settling back on my face. "Having the advantages I do," I whispered, pressing two fingers to my forehead, "I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you… you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise."

Her eyes flickered back to my family and I was afraid she didn't understand, afraid that she would never understand the depth of my feelings for her. How could she understand when I didn't fully comprehend them either?

"That part is easy enough to explain," I said, calling her attention back to me. "But there's more… and it's not so easy to put into words-"

Her eyes seem to widened at that and anxiety flooded through me for a moment, afraid that something I had said had made her scared or intimidated. But then I remembered she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at my family.

I turned to see who had caught her gaze and glared when I learned it was Rosalie. Tuning back into the thoughts of the people in the room, I found Rosalie's inner voice immediately.

 _Just because you love her, that doesn't make her safe. If I ask Emmett to, he'll get rid of her. Or I'll report it to the Volturi. Don't think her Edward stamp of approval makes her safe, you idiot._

That was enough. I hissed in her direction, using silent communication to force her to stop intimidating Bella. As soon as I was sure her eyes were off of Bella and back to glaring at me, I returned to tuning her out.

"I'm sorry about that. She's just worried. You see… it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" I couldn't bring myself to finish my sentence.

"If?"

"If this ends… badly," I explained, hoping she didn't make elaborate more than that. I brought my head to my hands, rubbing my temples softly. If anything were to happen to this girl, I would be ruined, but if it were my fault…

"And you have to leave now?" she asked, calling my attention back to her as I did earlier.

"Yes," I said, wishing that I didn't have to. "It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in biology-I don't think I could take any more." I thought back to the electricity between us, the urge I had felt to reach out and touch her both then and now.

Alice's thoughts interrupted my own.

 _It's tiiiiiiiiime!_

I let out a soft groan as she approached our table.

"Alice," I said, refusing to look behind me.

"Edward," she replied, and I could hear the grin in her voice.

 _Introduce me, introduce me, introduce me._

I smiled softly and shook my head. "Alice, Bella - Bella, Alice," I said, gesturing with my hand as I spoke.

 _It's happening!_

"Hello Bella, it's nice to finally meet you." _I have been waiting for so long for this exact moment, it's just how I thought it would be._

"Hi Alice," Bella said warily. For the second time in a half hour, I wondered what Bella was thinking.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked, her voice chipper and excited. I didn't think Alice could be unenthusiastic about anything, it wasn't in her nature.

"Nearly. I'll meet you at the car." I just wanted a moment alone to say goodbye to Bella and Alice generously complied, skipping off to the car, her thoughts all rotating around Bella.

"Should I say 'have fun' or is that the wrong sentiment?" she said, poking fun at me.

"No, 'have fun' works as well as anything," I said, smiling at her.

"Have fun then."

"I'll try. And you try to be safe please." My head slowly filled with all of the possible ways that Bella could be hurt or injured or killed in the short time we would be apart. The list was endless.

"Safe in Forks — what a challenge."

"For you it is a challenge. Promise," I said, needing her to take me seriously on this.

"I promise to try to be safe," she said, her tone teasing me a bit. "I'll do the laundry tonight — that ought to be fraught with peril."

"Don't fall in," I said, my eyebrows rising and a playful smirk settling on my face.

"I'll do my best."

We stood at the same time and looked at each other.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said with a sigh.

"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?"

She nodded dismally.

"I'll be there in the morning," I said, feeling extremely lucky that I would see her tonight as she was sleeping.

I could've left right then, could have turned to walk to Alice, but her magnetic pull was calling me once again. I reached for her face, letting my fingers gently stroke her cheekbone. Everything was calling for me to lean in more, to press her warm lips against my own.

Ripping myself from the call of my own desires, I turned and walked out of the cafeteria.

I needed to hunt.


	3. 13: Balancing (part two)

13\. Balancing (part two)

I walked to the parking lot swiftly and with purpose, knowing that Alice was waiting for me and knowing that the sooner I got there, the sooner we could make sense of all this.

As I walked toward my car, I couldn't help but smile at the sight of Alice in the passenger seat, feet on the dashboard, reading a book.

I climbed into the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition, pausing for a moment. "Is there something wrong with me?" I asked, looking at her intently. "Why is the one person I could see myself having a future with also the one person I want to kill more than anyone else?"

She sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Life is cruel sometimes, fate is cruel sometimes, but you just gotta take what life gives you and run with it."

I rolled my eyes and began driving towards Bella's home, letting Alice take full control of the radio. As we neared the Swan residence, I could feel myself growing more and more excited as I always did when I was in Bella's neighborhood. Thank goodness Alice couldn't read my mind.

Before I even got the opportunity to tell her that I could run in and find the keys, Alice just smiled at me. "I'll meet you back at school," she said, getting out of the passenger seat and moving around to my side of the car, opening my door for me.

"What a gentleman," I said, stepping out of the car to let her get in. Before she could close the door, I grabbed it. "Where are her keys?"

Alice closed her eyes. "Laundry room, dark wash skinny jeans, back pocket."

I smiled at her as she opened her eyes. "See you in a few." With that, I closed the door and watched as she drove off, making sure that she was well on her way before turning back towards the house I so desperately wanted to explore.

I decided this time, I would take advantage of the vacant home and walk through the front door.

The key hidden by the door was easy to find, but I was unclear if that was due to the whole vampire super sight thing or the fact that it was just hidden really terribly. Regardless, I unlocked the door and stepped in, my eyes scanning my surroundings as I shut the door behind me.

Charlie's house was small, but it wasn't the type of small that felt cramped and crowded, it was the type of small that felt welcoming and homey.

I walked slowly towards the living room, noticing everything. I took in the dark blue painted walls, sections of which were chipped from age or water damage, and the hardwood floors, the shine that may have once been there completely vanished and the wood stained in some parts of the room from what looked like an accident with nail polish remover.

I saw the red brick fireplace that clearly hadn't been used in years, and smiled when I saw the mantle. Pictures of Bella from every age lined the space, beginning with a photo of her as a baby with oversized sunglass on, talking into a phone about the size of her face, and ending with last year's school picture, her hair effortlessly draped over one shoulder, her half smile perfect enough to leave me breathless.

Next, I made my way towards the kitchen, chuckling to myself at the tacky yellow cabinets lining the walls and the assortment of mismatched chairs around the table. However, I couldn't help but be filled with a bit of nostalgia. This was a kitchen that was used to cook for someone, chairs that people sat in when they were tired, a couch someone crashed on when they were exhausted and didn't think they could make it up the stairs.

This was a house that was truly lived in, it was a concept I was foreign to.

As much as I wanted to linger more, to commit the floor plan of this home to memory, I had a task I had to complete. I found the laundry room easily, and began searching through the piles of clothing for the familiar sound of keys, smiling to myself when I did.

Before leaving the room, I took a deep breath, letting Bella's scent wash over me. Every additional moment I spent with her or things that held her scent, it became easier to handle, easier to control myself.

This girl was slowly taking over my life.

I shoved the keys in my jacket pocket and made my way back toward the front of the house. As I arrived at the front entrance, I let my eyes look over the first floor once more. This was a home in which I could see myself spending forever, and that thought terrified me. Instead of dwelling on it, I simply closed the door, locked it behind me and hid the key back where I had found it originally.

It was this moment when I finally realized that I had to drive the large orange deathtrap that sat in the driveway, a thin layer of dust lining the top and small smudges every now and then on the windows.

Smiling to myself as I got into the truck, I adjusted the seat back. Bella's small stature was funny to me, but I also couldn't help but imagine the way her body would fit with mine, tucked next to me on her bed as she slept.

 _Snap_ out _of it, Edward._

Coming back to my senses, I began the extremely slow drive back to Forks High School. Sure, it wasn't that far away, but the insanely slow speed of the car made the distance feel much longer that it really was.

Once I got there, I parked her truck in the spot I always parked in, knowing that she would easily be able to find her car there. I was about to grab my bag and leave, however, I instead decided to leave a note for her first.

It took me a moment to dig around in my backpack for a spare piece of computer paper and a pen, but I managed to find both, and scribbled "be safe" on the paper before folding it up and leaving it on the driver's seat.

This was advice that I wish she took more seriously on a daily basis, but it was especially imperative that she followed this advice when I couldn't be with her to protect her from the many dangers she seemed to attract.

As I began to climb out of the car, Alice effortlessly drove up beside me. She was never late for anything, it was my favorite thing about her.

I locked up Bella's car and got into my own, shutting the passenger side door with a sigh.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked in the light and excited tone she seemed to always speak in.

"Of course," I said, arms folded across my chest. "The sooner we leave, the sooner we finish hunting, the sooner I can be back to watching after Bella."

 _Edward, she's gonna be okay. Trust me, I've seen the two of you tomorrow, four limbs and everything._

My lips curled slightly upwards as she showed me her vision, the two of us racing through the forest.

"Thank you," I whispered, and we sat in silence for a moment more before she broke it once again.

"Okay, I really need to talk to you about Jasper because this whole 'building up his tolerance' thing is a good plan and all but it's making me worried."

As we drove back to our house, Alice continued to talk. I wasn't sure if she was doing it because she really needed to talk to someone about Jasper or just so that I didn't have to talk about Bella more, but either way I felt grateful for the momentary distraction from the crushing weight of trying to maintain Bella's life. Humans, so fragile.

Once my car was in the garage, we made our way towards the park. I was distracted the entire time; not to the point of being sloppy, but distracted enough to not notice as much as I normally did. Bella was dangerous, she made me less attentive.

I was sure that one day, that very fact would get the two of us in copious amounts of danger.

* * *

That evening, I returned to Bella's house as I normally did. The window opened easily, and I could hear the faint noise of Chopin's nocturne in B major escaping from the CD player that sat on her bedside table.

I slid into my chair just like every evening and swore under my breath as it began to rain outside. Rain meant that Bella's sleep would be restless, that she would toss and turn all night, and it hurt to watch her, knowing that there was nothing that I could do about it.

Preparing myself for a night of forcing myself to not rush to her, I noticed that she was unmoving on her bed. She was curled up on one side, seemingly content with whatever dream she was having, and looked at peace.

This was not normal.

I quickly rushed to her side, softly and silently checking her blood pressure and her heart, holding my breath as I leaned down to her chest to listen to her heartbeat.

All was well, she wasn't dead or dying, but regardless I sat like that for a while, my ear just slightly pressed against her chest, listening to the rhythmic thumping of her heart. I loved hearing that sound, loved hearing proof that Bella was alive, unharmed, and safe for the time being.

But was she safe? Could she ever be safe with me near her? Every moment I put myself between her and danger was a moment she was undeniably closer to her death than she ever had been before. I was the danger that was always attracted to her, the hazard that couldn't seem to leave her alone. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to her, she was my life now.

Why were these feelings so strong, so sudden, so unavoidable?

A split second decision was all it took for me to climb into bed with her, frozen in place as she effortlessly curled up against me. It was just how I had imagined; the way her body fit with mine was like two puzzle pieces, destined to be connected to each other.

Was this what Carlisle felt when Esme first came to him with her broken leg, knowing that one day they were destined to meet again? Were the ten years he waited in between seeing her for the first time and finally changing her all worth it in the end because he knew that she was the only one for him?

Bella rolled over and away from me and I instantly felt the loss of warmth. I wanted her to come back, let me hold her, let me wake her up and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.

Was this how Rosalie felt when she stumbled across Emmet, bleeding out on the forest floor? Was this feeling the reason why she was able to resist the temptation of his blood for more than one hundred miles of walking back to our house?

I could hear my name being mumbled as it was every night I sat in Bella's room, and I shifted softly to put an arm around Bella. I held my breath, knowing that this was a dumb idea but also knowing that if I was ever going to slip up and accidentally kill her, the best time to do that would be while she was sleeping.

Was this what Alice felt when she saw her first vision of Jasper? Was this what gave her the strength and patience to wait for him to finally meet her? And was this feeling the reason why Jasper tried his best to keep up with our diet, wanting to be supportive of Alice and not wanting to let her down?

I could never let Bella down, I was sure of that, so I slid slowly off her bed and sat back down in the rocking chair.

I finally understood.

Sure, Bella's blood was the most appetizing smell I had ever encountered, but she was also my mate. Bella was the person I was supposed to be with forever, and knowing that I had finally found her brought me a feeling of joy I had never felt before.

My smile did not fade for the rest of the night, and when dawn finally crept around, I knew that I had a small window of opportunity to sneak out of the house before Charlie was up and preparing for his fishing trip. I stole one last look at Bella before I was out the window, running back home to change my clothing as fast I possibly could.

The nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach was hard to ignore as i softly knocked on Bella's front door. I could hear Bella behind it, struggling to get the door unlocked and sighed. If she couldn't even get the door unlocked, this was going to be a whirlwind of a day for her.

But the minute Bella appeared in the door frame, I smiled. Bella and I were wearing the same clothing; her sweater was a bit more tight fitting than mine and her shirt showed off her frame, but besides that, our jeans, white shirts and tan sweaters were identical.

Soulmates.

"Good morning," I said sweetly.

"What's wrong?" she asked, nervously furrowing her brows.

I shook my head. "We match."

As she looked the both of us over, her nervous expression vanished and was replaced with one of amusement.

For a moment, she just stood looking at me, her eyes giving away the fact that she was reflecting on something, but then she locked the door behind her and we walked towards the driveway.

I leaned on the passenger side door, waiting for her to unlock the car, and rolled my eyes. I liked to be in control of everything, and the fact that her reflexes were not as sharp as mine made me nervous. What if we got into a car crash? Or if she ran over an animal?

"We made a deal," she said, calling my attention back to her as she unlocked the door and we both climbed in. "Where to?"

I shot her a look of uneasiness. "Put your seatbelt on — I'm nervous already."

She rolled her eyes at me but followed through, knowing it wasn't something worth arguing about, and then turned back to me. "Where to?"

"Take the one-oh-one north," I said, and braced myself for a bumpy ride as she began to pull out of the driveway.

I found that it was much easier to ignore Bella's awful driving if I spent my time looking at her instead. The way her eyes looked was the first thing to catch my attention. I hated the stereotype that brown eyes were ugly, because Bella's eyes were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

It seemed like my intense focus on her face made her nervous and that resulted in her driving even slower. "Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?" I asked impatiently, moving to stare out the window.

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather — have some respect," she said back to me, but picked up the pace a bit more so that we were soon outside of the limits of the town.

"Turn right on the one-ten," I said, pointing in the direction of the exit she was to take. She complied, and I continued with the directions. "Now we drive until the pavement ends," I said with a smile.

"And what's there, at the pavement's end?"

"A trail," I said, turning back to look at her reaction.

Her eyes widened. "We're hiking?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No."

"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry." That last part was the truest thing I had ever said. I was never in a hurry with her, I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could.

She was silent after that, her eyes too focused on the road in front of her. It unsettled me. "What are you thinking?" I inquired, wishing that she would be honest with me.

She shrugged. "Just wondering where we're going."

I raised an eyebrow at her answer, feeling that she wasn't being truthful, but replied anyway. "It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice," I said, my eyes focused out the window and at the sky.

"Charlie said it would be warm today," she said awkwardly, clearly trying to just fill the empty space left by our silence.

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?"

"Nope."

I focused my attention back on Bella. "But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" As long as someone knew we were together, it was going to be okay. I had to know that there would be someone worried if she didn't come home, someone who would think I had something to do with it if she disappeared.

"No, I told her you canceled on me — which is true."

My voice grew louder. "No one knows you're with me?"

"That depends… I assume you told Alice?"

"That's very helpful, Bella," I said coldly. "Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" I asked, not needing an answer. Why couldn't she take this seriously?

"You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly," she said quietly.

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause _me_ — _if you_ don't come _home_?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, and she nodded in response. This girl would be the death of herself.

"Lord what fools these mortals be," I murmured under my breath.

We sat in silence for the rest of the drive. Anger took over my mind and I could feel myself growing more irritable with every additional moment we spent together. I wished that I had enough faith in myself to be alone with her without worrying, but that wasn't the case. Her scent still burned in the back of my throat, her blood still sang to me.

I would make her understand. I would force her to comprehend the danger that she faced just by spending time with me.

I got out of the car and slammed my door behind me, starting towards the forest. "This way," I called back after me, removing my sweater.

"The trail?" she asked, seemingly disappointed at the fact that we were walking through the forest instead of on the cleared out trail.

"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it."

"No trail?" she asked, desperation in her voice.

"I won't let you get lost." At that moment, I turned around to her, a perfect smile plastered on my face and I could see that she was finally feeling the natural response she was supposed to feel with me, finally feeling at least a little bit of fear.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked, frozen in my stance.

"No," she said, her answer confident as she stepped closer to me, but her expression made it clear that something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, wanting to know what was happening in her mind, needing to understand what she was thinking. I needed to know that she understood.

"I'm not a good hiker," she answered, staring at her shoes. "You'll have to be very patient."

I smiled slightly at her comment, my mood picking up a bit. "I can be patient — if I make a great effort."

I locked my eyes on hers for a moment, watching her face as she tried her best to match my smile. But it wasn't true, she didn't want to be here anymore, I was sure of it.

"I'll take you home," I said, eyes moving off of Bella and back towards her truck.

But before I could even move, Bella was talking again. "If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way." She spoke harshly and frowned, but it didn't seem like she was willing to budge from her stance.

We began walking, Bella following close behind me. Every now and then I would push some form of greenery out of the way for her or lift her over something in the way of our path. Each time my hand touched her skin, I could hear her heartbeat pick up.

Her attraction to me at that moment was undeniable, and the silence was enough to let my mind wander. Maybe there was a way this could work. If what I was about to show her didn't turn her off completely, didn't finally make her too scared to be near me, maybe I could hold her again like I did the night before. Maybe she would let me touch her.

To distract myself from that area of thinking, I broke the silence. We talked a bit as we walked and she answered all the various questions I hadn't gotten the answer to yet. Her birthday was September 13th, and the best birthday she had ever had was her twelfth birthday when her and her friends when to a cupcake store and decorated cupcakes.

She had had pets before, but her three fish—Shylock, Goldie and Zelda—had died and three was her limit on pet deaths. Bella shined when she was able to be laid back. She was funny and charismatic, but every time my hand brushed her skin that persona would fade away and she would go back to the nervous, mumbling girl who I sat next to in Biology her first day of school.

The walk took an eternity compared to how fast it usually took for me to get to the clearing when I ran, but if this was what eternity was like when I spent it with Bella, I would move at this pace for the rest of my life.

As the sun began to poke through the canopy, I smiled. Alice was never wrong about two things: stocks and the weather.

I could feel her heartbeat pick up again when she noticed the change in the weather, but her excitement seemed to come from something different that mine. I didn't think she truly understood what she was about to see.

"Are we there yet?" she asked, and I chuckled at her restlessness.

"Nearly," I said, eyes focused forward. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"

She seemed to search for a moment before shaking her head. "Um, should I?"

My smile shifted to a smirk. "Maybe it's a bit soon for _your_ eyes."

"Time to visit the optometrist," she muttered, and that simply made me laugh more. There were no glasses that improve her vision to the point where it was matched with mine, but the fact that she didn't quite understand that yet was cute.

As soon as Bella saw the sunlight, she walked faster, excitement evident in the way her steps became more confident. I let her walk in front of me, trailing behind her and letting her reach my meadow before I did.

I watched her take in the beauty of her surroundings, watched as the sunlight brushed over her and enhanced every feature. Her hair seemed brighter, her eyes were even more beautiful.

I hung back in the shadows, wanting Bella to be far away from me when I showed her what happened to my skin in sunshine. I waited for her eyes to settle on me and then she gestured for me to walk towards her. I shook my head, put my hand up, and took a deep breath.

This could be the end for us, this could be the thing that finally made her wake up to how different I was from her, that finally made her feel afraid.

I didn't want to put it off anymore, so I closed my eyes, braced myself for her scream, and stepped into the sun.


	4. Author Update

Hello all, just a quick little update. We've been preparing our house to go on the market this week, so I have not had time to write a new chapter. I'm going to work on part 1 of chapter fourteen this weekend, and I hope to have it up by Tuesday at the latest.

Hope you all have excellent weekends,

~rcsalie


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